© IN

bombursbelly:

So then in 2770, for my birthday party, which was an all-elves pool party, I was like “Thorin, I can’t invite you, because I think you’re gay.” I mean I couldn’t have a gay dwarf at my party. There were gonna be elves who look like women. And then his grandpa Thor got obsessed with all his treasure and gold, it was so retarded. And then Thorin left Erebor because I wouldn’t no one would help him when Smaug devoured it, and then he came back later to reclaim the Lonely Mountain, his beard was braided and he was totally weird, and now I guess he’s on gold crack.

Coming soon to theatres near you. 

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